Arriving at Durban airport – King Shaka International –   once my bagage was cleared it was time to get a taxi – I had been given so much conflicting advice about catching taxis in Durban and how unsafe Durban was so I was a little bit cautious to say the least.
I went to an information counter and the African man was very helpful he suggested the Hotel Shuttle Buss only cosing R50.00 or a taxi at R250.00 and gave me lots of tips to keep safe in Durban – manily don’t travel at night alone, dont flash your camera around (point noted), make sure your bag is closed and close to you, dont let strangers get to close to you….and dont get in the white van taxi’s – so outward and onward I went. The Airport bus transport was perfect – a mini bus; several other people took the same bus – I was the first drop-off at Umhlanga Sands Resort – a perfect spot – well done Mr C ( I complained at the time it was 2omins out of Durban – but now how grateful I am at this decision).

The resort is just wonderful – everything in one spot; pool, restaurants, entertainment and miles of beaches – just devine only missing is my lovely hubby.

 Umhlanga is approx 15km north of Durban, it was initially inhabited by the San people, in later years it was inhabited by the Zulu pople who lived off the abundance of fish and the wild game in the area.

 There are close to 300 days of sunshine a year and the water is warm – the beaches are protected by shark nets and lifeguards. There is a promenade  that runs along all the beaches, and is dotted with restaurants, takeways, and ice cream sellers.

Today I have walked from my hotel end of the promenade to the other end (South) which is about 5 kms – i did note some lovely eye candy jogging along past me…..to my surprise when I got to the other side, I could see Durban City and the Moses Mabhida Stadium – it is just such a perfect day – not a cloud in the sky, temp is about 34 degrees. I decided to sit on the beach and watch the waves, they are so majestic, I tried to caputure them with the camera but it just does it no justice – the sound and beauty is just magnificent – a moment worth cherrishing.

The afternoons get a bit windy – it is now lunchtime for me getting hungry and its 2pm so have decided to stop at La Spiaggia trattoria and have a steak roll with chips and a carafe of white dry wine…. oh such is life….pure bliss.   Ian Skyped me on my way back to the hotel – so I managed to show him some of the sights, it was lovely to chat. Whilst I was talking to him a little African child came to keep me company – watch for the photo in the next blog…. he was very cute but sadly learning how to beg…. poverty is a big issue, the disparity between the rich and poor is quite evident – listening to the news and reading the papers, the politics of it all is very interesting. Currently one of the biggest issue is the university students striking and demonstrating stating they should not have to pay for education it should be free – one radio station was saying that politicans need to reduce there salary and that money should go to the students so they can have free enducaiton…. very intersting ideas going around.

In the evenings I am watching movies or reading – tonight I will go to the lounge in the Resort as there is a show on tonight…. so am going to have a look see. 

Well thats it for this one….. next will be my trips to Durban Central….and that is a tale.

I am yet to walk to the to Umhlanga’s Natural lagoon Nature Reserve… maybe tomorrow.

it feels like a life time since I left Perth, but it has only been four days – so much has been packed into those days – more so with emotions. I was excited about my trip to SA and to date that excitment is still present. My trip – 7 days in Durban – 4 days Cape Town – 3 days Port Elizabeth – 2 days Johannesberg. I packed the lighest I have ever packed before – I must be learning after our trip to Europe last year I voved to pack light. This is the first holiday without a conference attached so I could pack comfy / day clothes and no high heal shoes…. just flats.

  
I set myself four goals for this trip: 1 – To obtain my mothers birth certificate; 2- find my grandparents grave; 3 – to evaluate my current career status and 4 – to have fun: setting four clear goals is good for me, usually it is a list a mile long, but I really wanted to set goals I felt I could achieve hence only setting four. 

The fun part is not as easy as you think, being a work-a-holic I have really tried not to be mentally ambushed with work, engage with email or two much technology – being over-connected digitally and yet under-connected with myself – its much easier when the internet service is lacking – it almost feels like I’m cheating because I don’t have a choice…….ha ha.

The flight from Perth to Joberg on South African Airways was OK, it is so hard for me to sleep on long flights – 10hrs: It was the Rugby World Cup semi final between South Africa and New Zealand – thankfully on Kiwis on the flight – the captain kept giving us updates and all I could think about was that he was concentrating on flying the plane and not the game. Sadly for SA they lost – good for me as it is a Aussie v Kiwi final – my allegiance will always be with Australia as this is home – my heart will always be in Africa.  

Arriving in Joberg was daunting as I didn’t know what to expect – it is a massive airport and I had an internal transfer to Durban (2hrs to spare). I quickly was reminded I was in Africa, nothing goes fast it is all on African time and with a smile. The cue for SA flights throught SA was long – made up of mostly Indians (50%) Europeans (10%)  & Africans (40%) – it was interesting listening to the people in the cue and the undercurrent of racial tensions – for me I did not need to be anywhere in a hurry I was on holiday so long as I made my flight I was happy – I smiled to myself and thought and so begins the journey.

We are on our way to pick up our pooch – “Kookie” who has been on a holiday whilst we were on holiday in the Gold Coast. We have been home a week and its funny how you miss your pets when they are not around – I hope we haven’t left her too long that she has forgotten us – I doubt it.
 Hello mummy – love you and missed you – she knew us straight away, wouldn’t leave us alone……

 good to have her back. Now for the two hour drive home after dinner.

I have always been a lover of dogs – I had my first dog in New Zealand “Sandy” she was just beautiful a heinz variety dog – she used to follow me everywhere and I have never forgotten her – she was my only friend. We used to have 6 massive Wattle trees in our back garden and I often used to sit under the trees telling her all my woes… and she comforted me, without judging…. when we had to move back to Africa I was devistated – we had to give Sandy away and I cried for days…. I have since always had a family pet dog… over the years we have had many and my children are all doggie people:

  Kookie playing in the garden – getting a hosedown as it is hot and we have a two hour drive home – so she needs to be tired. 

For some time now I have been considering tracing my family. However this may be particularly difficult because I only know my mothers side and in saying that I only know a limited amount. The reason for this is that my mother was very secretive about her background. For many years my mother told me she was English and as a child I had no reason to doubt this. She never talked much about her life as a child or her school years and I never asked. I knew she had a sister living in Kent UK and one sister was in Durban and later moved to Sydney and subsequently died.

It turns out that my mother came from South Africa, she did say Orange Free State but who knows it could be timbucktoo. She also said that she came from a big family – 6 or 8 children and one of her brothers was not so good, I can’t remember her telling me much more about her siblings. I do remember a story my mother used to tell me about the death of her parents…. her mother died first and a year later almost to the same day, her father woke up and said his wife came to visit him in the night – said it was his time. There was a picture on the wall of both of them and the picture fell to the floor and the glass broke – that day her father died of a massive heart attack. My mother also use to say to me, “Pauline my mother said – a mother always keeps a family together – when she dies the family falls away from each other” and I do think that is true. 

My mother passed away in Aug 1999 – we were estranged for 17 years, although we did keep intouch via mail and I was meant to meet her in the Sept of 1999 – clearly it was not meant to be.

One day a couple of years ago I was going through some of my mothers papers in my filing cabinet and came across my grand parents names.  I thought I would do a google search of their names and low and behold their gravestones appeared before my eyes – dont you just love google and so the search began. It is quite time consuming and with a name like Botha it is like looking for a needle in a haystack. This year I joined ancestry.com, that has been helpful – to date I have found all 8 siblings and have a date of birth for 5 of them. I dont think any of them are still living, I can’t be sure of this and I think my mother was the youngest, but now I have hit a wall – I dont seem to be progressing any further – need some clues of how to move forward.

 ue 

Life throws us many curve balls, most of the time we cope; we duck, we dive, we catch and sometimes we get hit  but as a mother life is unrelenting: Our babies are born, we are overwhelmed with joy, anticipation and trepidation particularly for the first baby – thereafter we at least know to what to expect.

We eagerly await each mile stone, the first smile, oh how I remember that one. The first tooth, the first step, each new taste, the first tantrum, first day of school, the first argument with your partner/husband over the children, the first day of high school – the list is endless. Finally they become an adult and you are relieved they have made it; with or without your  partner/husband – and then this is when it gets harder, because they make their own decisions and are responsible for themselves and they tend not to listen to you anymore – so theoretically its their own fault, except now they blame “The mother”  – she was too hard or too soft.

The adult child has developed their own set of values and these may differ from yours and their siblings – now as a mother you take a back seat and watch your adult child’s life unfold, each joy, each error, each job, each love and broken love; your role is to provide unconditional love and be supportive. I don’t know who thought of that stupid idea, totally unrealistic.

The trouble is ‘mother knows best’ and it is very hard to keep your mouth shut and not say what you are thinking particularly when you know you are right. It really is a conundrum because it is your right not theirs. The trick is knowing when too and when not too say anything – and sometimes there is never a right time too say anything: Your heart just bleeds and sometimes it hemorrhages for the mistakes you see them make. You as a mother have to learn how to stop that hemorrhage so that you can manage your own life. That is difficult to do, particularly when you have a partner with a different set of values.

There is much truth in the old saying ‘mother knows best’ –  no matter how much we don’t like it – as much as I hate to admit it, there were times my mother was correct – and many times she was wrong; but she was right on issues of the heart. If we spent less time arguing with our mothers and listened we might find ourselves in a better place. By the time I learned that my mother only did the best she knew how and did it out of love, it was too late she had died. What this taught me was that a mothers job is unrelenting – you second guess decisions you have made when your children make mistakes – but you know they have to make those mistakes to learn and grow, just as I did – and if they keep making the same mistakes they are slow learners or just plain stubborn – but it is their lesson to learn and you as a mother just pick up the pieces – easier said than done:

I wonder if sometimes its best not to know – then how connected would we be?

Wow! my first day back home after 6 weeks holidaying in Europe – with planes, trains and automobiles – people galore and places to see, sensory overload, don’t get me wrong it was a fantastic holiday but you almost need a holiday to get over the holiday.

It was sheer heaven to get into bed last night….. turned on the electric blanket an hour before going to bed……was absolutely wonderful getting into bed, we snuggled up and were thankful of our lives….the assortment of beds over the last 6 weeks we have been in you could write a book on….some good and some not so good.

I woke at 6 am then turned over and thought “get back to sleep”…. the mobile phone buzzed at 8 am, I ignored it until it buzzed again half an hour later….. so my first phone call was a catch up with one of my sons…..then decided to roll over and go back to sleep…. finally got out of bed at 1030, a good way to start the lazy day.

I am enjoying staying in my PJ’s and just chilling for the day….. that does not mean that I don’t do anything, the washing is on, first load is already on the line…the bags need unpacking…..gifts for the family put in order…. the soup is cooking on the stove…. the catch-up phone calls with the girlfriends…and they alone will take about an hour per call…so they have to be spread over the next few days. The TV is on in the background, not because I want to watch it but just because I can and it is in English.
There is something really enjoyable about staying in your PJ’s all day – the soup has been simmering most of the afternoon. I have been craving a good soup loaded with veg and a few lamb bones for flavor we weren’t disappointed the soup was delicious… the simplicity of soup beats many of the wonderful dinners we have experienced over the last 6 weeks.
I feel well rested and will have an early night…..job interview tomorrow.
ciao for now!